We go from black to a recap of Lil’ Tokyo’s win at the PPV, ending the segment with her holding the OCW World Title Belt up high with Bret Steele laid out in the ring. We go to the Meltdown intro!!!
We are in the ring with former OCW World Champion Bret Steele and he has a mic…
Steele: You know, Pro Wrestling is a funny business. Every week you see colorful characters parade themselves around, putting their bodies on the line and playing to the fans just for a shred of acknowledgement and a few pennies to put in their pocket.
We’ve got Hellcats, we’ve got Egyptian kings, we’ve got “monsters”, we’ve got cowboys. You know, if you didn’t know any better, you would think you were at a circus, not a wrestling show.
But here’s the thing, and it’s an important fact but a fact nonetheless and one to remember: I’M NOT A CHARACTER!
I’m Bret Damn Steele, the baddest man in the OCW and that Title Belt said so. It said I didn’t need silly gimmicks, or masks, or any of that crap to do what I do best: Win.
So at Resurrection, I went up against one of these cartoon characters, some little Japanese girl who should be whipping me up a platter of sushi or rubbing my feet with scented oils and instead finds herself in a match against the best wrestler in the OCW.
And what happens?
Easy. I get CHEATED out of the damn title! (Crowd Boos). SHUT YOUR HOLE YOU MOUTHBREATHERS! The fact is that Crippler Bret Steele walked in to that match by himself. I didn’t need some masked goof to back me up, I didn’t need anyone! But Lil’ Tokyo, she couldn’t win that match on her own! She had to have some curtain-jerking wannabe waiting in the back to attack me! Watch the tape! I was bailing out of the ring to buy me some time, get my thoughts straight and here comes this greasy chupacabra jumping me and nailing me in the back!
So all of a sudden, I’m not wrestling one person, I’m wrestling two! Now, I know math comes difficult to the state that thinks it ranks fifty-fifth in education, so let me explain so that even you backwards hicks understand: Two is MORE than one! Notice I didn’t say “greater” than, because that wouldn’t have been the truth! So even when it’s two tiny lowlifes with barely a shred of talent between them, I’m still outnumbered! So, Lil’ Tokyo, I hope you enjoy the brief time you are going to hang on to that belt, cause’ trust me, it’s coming home sooner rather than later.
Now, I want to turn my attention to that piece of trash Mentos or whatever his name is. I’m going to make you pay. You did something that few wrestlers have ever done, and that’s make me mad. You stuck your nose in it Mentats, and now I’m going to slap that stupid looking grin right off of your face. But you know, maybe you’re not too bright. Maybe I’m wrong and instead of trying to get yourself messed up, you simply didn’t know what you were getting yourself into. It’s understandable, I mean, hell, you probably grew up in a town that had one television every hundred miles or something, so maybe you never heard of me. Maybe this little Shanghai Surprise pulled you aside and whispered she would “love you long time” and roped you into messing with the biggest dog in the yard. Maybe, just maybe, you simply had no clue what you were about to get in the middle of.
You know, I’m a charitable guy, really I am. So Mentardo, come on out here, I’ve got an offer that might just save you a week in ICU…
Mentalo’s music hits and he comes out, waving and smiling to the fans. He grabs a mic from ringside and steps through the ropes. Mentalo smiles broadly at Bret and to the fans.
Steele: Alright, alright, cut his damn music. Though I don’t even know why he has music to begin with, unless it’s a recording of his screams of pain as he gets beat up by women. Look, pal, you seem clueless enough and I’ve got plans later on tonight, so I’m giving you an out. Turn around, walk away and I’ll not beat you within an inch of your pathetic life. Just go. Take your flashy smile and sparkly leotards and climb on back through those ropes and get in your lowriding Pinto and drive away. I’m only giving you this offer once Mentardo, and I suggest you take it.
Mentalo: Ah Bret Steele, I know what you are thinking. Mentalo, he is soft, si? He is
a coward. He let's himself get beat up by women. Si. It’s true, I have been beaten by
women. But, so have you now eh?
He continues to smile broadly as Steele stares daggers at him…
Mentalo: There are many capable women in this federation, no? (Mentalo winks at Steele).
Steele: No Mentardo, there’s not. There’s one extremely lucky woman who had an idiot melon-farmer come out to the ring and interfere in my match. An idiot who didn’t know well enough to keep his mouth shut and take my offer to get his butt out of the arena and run on back to the apartment he shares with thirty of his closest relatives. That’s what there is.
Mentalo’s smile fades.
Mentalo: But no, Bret Steele, Mentalo, he is NO coward! You have fought to where you are, same as me. Our records are equal, si? I will not back down from you, as I
have not backed down from any of my opponents! You want to cripple
me? Well, you can try hombre! You can try!
Steele: You know Mentardo, I think I’ll take you up on that…RIGHT NOW!
Steele kicks Mentalo in the gut and hits an underhook facebuster!!! Mentalo is out and Steele locks in the Punjab Lasso, stretching Mentalo out!!! Finally, after several minutes he releases Mentalo who is out of it on the mat and Steele adds a kick to his back for good measure before bailing out of the ring. Los Security meet him in the aisle and they have a staredown, and slowly, Los Security separates and lets the seething Steele walk past and back to the dressing room!
We cut to commercial and come back at the announcers table! Scooter Sparks is joined by Trailer Park Stevens!
Scooter: Welcome to Monday Night Meltdown Fans! Tonight I am joined by a new face in the announcers booth, Trailer Park Stevens! Trailer Park, thanks for filling in while CP is recuperating from the beating he sustained at Resurrection!
TP: Uh, sure man. Look, I need another can, cause I just loaded up that Tab can with spit.
Scooter: I WAS DRINKING THAT!
TP: Aw, my bad man. Well, you might want to get something else to drink cause chew juice can make ya sick. Hey is that a pic of your mom in your wallet?
Scooter: Actually, it is, I….Hey! How did you get my wallet!?!
TP: Oh, you like dropped it when you bent over. Hey, I didn’t take that twenty out of there either, so don’t even ask Dude.
Scooter: Give that back! I…ok…focus. Well, Trailer Park, what did you think of Resurrection? And what about what we just saw, with former OCW World Champ Bret Steele attacking Mentalo!?!
TP: Man, Resurrection was tight. I got paid, got to go home early and Sally Mae and me bought a case of Pabst and got loaded and watched Mixed Martial Arts, ate some wings and popped some Percoset she lifted from her Dad’s medicine cabinet. It was a good night.
Scooter: Uhm, yeah I guess. Did you even watch the rest of Resurrection?
TP: Nah man, I had to get up early to get in line for my unemployment check.
Scooter: Unemplo…but you WORK here!
TP: HEY MAN! You a narc or something? Shut your pie hole! DAMN!
Scooter: Oh, sorry. Uh, anyway, looks like we’ll have one heck of a fight for that TV Title tonight, don’t you think?
TP: Oh, you mean the match with Steele and that Mexican? Yeah I guess.
Scooter: I think he prefers Latin-Am…
TP: Yeah whatever, look man can we get some brews out here and maybe a futon or something? These chairs make my butt fall asleep.
Scooter: No, sorry. Anyway! Right now we’ve got a match between two teams we saw debut at Resurrection, The Black Widows and The Live Wires!
TP: Aw man, you mean those tight chicks in the black leather? Scooter you know you wanna be the meat in a Black Widow Sammich!
Scooter; Well, I don’t think…
TP: Aw yeah you do! Come on, give Trailer a little love…HIGH FIVE! Don’t leave me hanging…
Scooter: Ok, there you go, high five. Congratulations.
TP: Yeah, The Black Widows won’t have to worry to much about these guys trying to cop a feel or nothing, cause you know, I don’ think they swing the way you and me do.
Scooter: Uh, I guess. Anyway, The Live Wires are already in the ring and here comes the Black Widows and it looks like we have a match fans!
Scooter: Fang to start out against the more powerful of the Live Wires, Matt Watts. Watts with a hiptoss takedown into an armbar! Fang powers out and hits Watts with a big boot! Watts tags out and Cable comes in and walks right into a clothesline!
Fang ties up that arm and tags in Spinner, who goes up top and comes off with a big elbow! Cable on the mat! He goes for a tag but Spinner drags him back in the center and locks on a half-nelson! Cable fights out, but Spinner tags Fang back in and Fang hits a reverse neckbreaker! Fang in control! She gets Cable up and goes for a suplex but Cable
nails her with a closed fist and she hits the mat with Cable on top! Cable covers! ONE! TWO! Kickout!
Cable tags in Watts and both send Fang into the ropes! Double Clothesline! No! They miss! Rebound! Fang hits one of her own on both Live Wires! Cover on Watts! ONE! TWO! Kickout! All four in the ring now! Ref trying to restore order! The Black Widows get Watts up- WIDOW MAKER! That double brainbuster just laid Watts out and Fang covers! The ref counts as Spinner intercepts Cable..ONE…TWO..THREE!!! The Black Widows walk away with a decisive win! Impressive!
Winner: The Black Widows via pinfall @ 5:03
Scooter: Wow! The Black Widows certainly sent a statement with that win TP! I thought the live Wires would offer a bit more resistance but I guess they were clearly outmatched!
TP: I guess man. I mean, these guys are young…
Scooter: Oh, so you think they will have more time to develop, hone their skills into a more cohesive unit?
TP: Uh, no, what I was going to say was that they are young and can probably find a good job at like, Micky D’s or Wendy’s or something like that. The fryer ain’t that hard to operate…
Scooter: Nice. We’ll be right back fans.
We go to commercial!
When we return we are back in the ring and bathed in white light from a spotlight above is Angel! She has a microphone!
Angel: Margharita! For your evil deeds you must repent! Prepare to feel the wrath of the avenging Angel!
A moment later Margharita’s music hits and she appears at the entrance to the arena.
Margharita: Hey Jou! Didn’t I beat Jou down just a week ago? Now you come in here wanting a match with me? Jou out of your mind lady! Jou got that halo wrapped too tight, it killing the blood flow to jour brain! No, Magharita don’t dirty her hands with the likes of Jou. Maybe Jou need to get jour bibles together and head down to de soup kitchen!
Jou want a match with me? Honey, Jou ain’t even paid Jour dues! So tell jou what! Jou beat my chicka here tonight and I’ll think about giving jou a match sometime. Maybe! But right now, Jou better get ready because Jou got a match, with Sally Mae Stevens!!!
Sally Mae appears next to Margharita who turns to her and produces a carton of Marlboros from behind her back and hands them to Sally Mae who takes them and heads down to the ring!
Scooter: Woah! Did you see that TP!?!
TP: I did! Man that carton looked like it was FULL of smokes! That must be at least twenny, twenny-five bucks worth of cigs in there! HOT DAMN SCOOTER I’M FEELING GOOD TONIGHT!
Scooter: No! I was talking about how Margharita just dodged Angel’s challenge! What game is she playing here?
TP: I don’t know man but I can tell you one thing. After watching this Angel chick last week at Resurrection I can definitely spot her biggest weakness.
Scooter: Oh really, well...hang on, I thought you didn’t watch Resurrection?
TP: Oh, I might have, you know, flipped over when this chick was on.
Scooter; Uh huh. So tell me, what is her “weakness”?
TP: That outfit man! You can’t see nothing! She might as well be wearing a winter coat in there! I mean, you can see some curves and stuff, and when she turns around and bends over she..
Scooter: Enough! Thank you for that analysis TP, it was totally insightful.
TP: Hey, no probs dude. Ain’t gonna matter anyway, Sally Mae, she’s in a bad mood tonight and "Aunt Flo" is in town if you know what I mean! She sent me to the store last night cause she was out of Maxipa-
Scooter: Woah! Ok! I think we’ve heard enough about all of that!
TP: Oh come on dude, it’s just like childbirth, right? It’s all natural and beautiful and stuff, at least that’s what Sally Mae says.
Scooter: Uh, Sally Mae is in the ring and we’ve got a match…thank God.
Scooter: Here we go fans! We’ve got the bell and Sally Mae is just jawing at Angel, giving her what for! Sally has lit up one of those cigs on the way to the ring, and she blows smoke right in Angels face!
Angel goes for a punch but Sally Mae blocks! Headlock by Sally Mae! OH NO! She just put that cig out in Angels’ eye!!! No, just got smashed on the mask fans, Angel isn’t blinded, but she is furious!
Angel sends Sally Mae into the ropes and hits a kneelift! Sally Mae down! Angel drops down and begins hammering Sally Mae’s head into the mat! No finesse here fans! Angel just taking care of business! Calm down TP! Stop jumping up and down, you’re going to break your chair!
Sally Mae is in trouble fans! Angel goes up top, looks like a high risk maneuver! She comes off! MISSES! Angel hits hard as Sally Mae rolls out of the way! Angel hit hard fans and she’s grabbing her ribs! Looks like it was going to be a flying elbow drop but she missed! Now what is Sally Mae doing? She’s unlacing her Converse! What the heck? Looks like she’s got that shoelace hidden from the ref, she locks in a headlock- SHE’S CHOKING ANGEL OUT WITH THAT SHOELACE! The ref can’t see it because of Sally Mae’s flabby arms! OW! Sorry TP! Just calling it like I see it!
She tosses the shoelace away and Angel is out of it fans! Sally Mae hits her with a kick to the stomach and Angel rolls over! She’s hurting bad fans! Sally Mae has her up by the hair and sends her into the ropes! DOUBE WIDE BODYBLOCK! NO! Sally Mae misses and gets tied up in the ropes! The ref is trying to get her loose but it’s buying Angel valuable time! Sally Mae is turning blue, those ropes are cutting off the circulation to her head! Alright, the ref has her free of the ropes, Sally Mae stumbles towards Angel who is still down on the mat! Sally Mae picks up Angel, looks like she’s going to end this! She’s trying to get Angel up in a piledriver! Reverse! Backdrop by Angel and she sits right down and grabs Sally Mae’s legs! PIN ATTEMPT! ONE! TWO! THREE! Angel walks away with another win!!!
Winner: Angel via pinfall @ 8:53
We go to commercial. When we come back and we’re in Dusty Diamond’s office. We’re focused on her so we’re not sure who she’s talking to at first…
Dusty: Look, I saw you make your “appearance” at Resurrection and I’ve got to say: You suck. Now, don’t take this personally, and I’m not sure how you got past security, not that it seems like any real feat these days, but I just want you to know that, well, we don’t need your “talents” around here.
We pull back to see, slumped in the chair, eyes closed, the overweight individual who ran down to Damien Genesis’ match at Resurrection- and fell asleep upon hitting the ring. He’s wearing a black wrestling bodysuit with some indecipherable red and gold insignia on his chest.
Unidentified Man: Huh! Whoa, oh hey, sorry I just kinda dozed off there for a minute. You were saying I could start picking my check up when?
Dusty: Uh, no, I wasn’t saying anything like that. What I was saying was that you suck and I want you out of here!
Unidentified Man: Oh wow, well I’m sorry to hear that.
Dusty: Yeah, well I don’t care, now if…HEY! WAKE UP!
Unidentified Man: WOAH! Sorry, man is like, the lights in this office turned down or something? It’s really hard to stay awake.
Dusty: What? No, it’s…Look, I’m trying to run a show here, so if you’ll just…
Unidentified Man: Oh, hey, I meant to give this to you when I came in but forgot, cause, you know, I nodded off…
He pulls a folded up piece of paper from his black wrestling trunks and hands it to Dusty who handles it like toxic waste and unfolds it and begins reading…
Dusty: What the hell is this? HEY!
Unidentified Man: Yeah, sorry, must have stayed up late. What?
Dusty: Mind explaining what the hell this is?
Unidentified Man: Oh, well my Dad told me to give it to you. He said it should be self explanatory.
Dusty: No, not really! This is an iron-clad lifetime contract for someone named “The Narcoleptic Assassin! Says here he can’t be fired or let go! Is this some kind of damn joke!?!?
Unidentified Man: Nah, guess not. See, apparently your Dad lost to my Dad in a game of cards and like, my Dad won that contract. He’s always on my case about getting a job and getting out of the basement, so, like, he bought me this outfit and sent me here. Said I could make good money just, you know, wrestling and stuff.
Dusty: So I guess YOU are The Narcoleptic Assassin. Freaking wonderful.
Narcolpetic Assassin: Yeah, but my real name is Le…
Dusty: I DON’T CARE! Look Nar-Ass, I don’t like you and you can trust me when I say that I am going to get my army of lawyers on this and find a way to get your ass booted from the OCW! You’re a…WAKE UP!!!
Narcoleptic Assassin: Oh, sorry, I thought you were done.
Dusty: HEY! No one falls asleep on me in the middle of my threats! I was saying that you are on borrowed time here buddy! But until my lawyers find a way to get you tossed out, I’m going to make sure I get my money out of you! So, since you are dressed, I assume you can wrestle right?
Narcoleptic Assassin: Oh, yeah. Totally.
Dusty: Wow, really? You might have some value after all. Well who did you train with?
Narcoleptic Assassin: Oh, I like, busted out my old tapes of GLOW and watched them a few times.
Narcoleptic Assassin: Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling.
Dusty: Of course. Look I...WAKE UP! I’m booking you in a match tonight Nar Ass, so get out of my office and get ready, cause from here on out, you are going to earn every last cent you are taking out of my coffers, got that?
Narcoleptic Assassin: Huh? Yeah, sure. Hey, do you think maybe I could get a nice comfy couch or something in my dressing room…
Dusty: GET OUT!!!
We cut to commercial!
When we return, we see the Union Jacks entering the arena with their gear. Black Alice is leading them and all are talking under their breath.
Suddenly, The Hangmen appear behind them with chairs and nail the Union Jacks! Black Alice screams and scurries out of the way while the Hangmen continue hammering the Union Jacks with the steel chairs! They toss the chairs away and pick up Anarchy and put him through a nearby table! They then pick up Revolution and send him face first right into a nearby ladder! They then continue to kick the hell out of the Union Jacks!
Finally, the Hangmen laugh and scream “Welcome to the OCW!” and take off just as Los Security arrives!!!
Scooter: Well what do you think of that TP!?! The Union Jacks getting jumped upon their arrival to the OCW arena!
TP: Hey man, you got to watch out for those Hangmen. They some bad dudes. Hey, I got some nachos, you want some?
Scooter: Oh, well thanks! Sure I haven’t eaten since lun…wait, why is some of the cheese darker than the rest?
TP: Oh, like they kinda skimp on the cheese at the snack bar, so I went out to the El Camino and got some government cheese I had left in the glove box and heated it up over the engine for a few minutes and drizzled it over the…
Scooter: You know, it’s okay, I’ve got a Zagnut bar over here and I’ll be fine.
TP: Suit yourself dude.
Scooter: Yeah, Thanks anyway.
Fire erupts on stage and from ring posts and Kai's new music Booms out as Kai comes out to the ring with no shirt, hair on his face singed off and carrying a microphone. There are burns all over his back. When he gets to the ring we see his burned arm looks even nastier and now that hand is burned up bad. He stands center of the ring, and his music stops. He raises his microphone to speak but just stands there. After an awkward silence he begins to laugh and it slowly becomes a sinister maniacal laugh. He just laughs for a good 10-15 seconds and then…
Kai: That was fun!!!
He uses his unburned arm to flip his hair back and reveals a burn that goes from his upper chest and then up onto the right side of his neck and just beneath his ear.
Kai: Don't worry everyone, (slight chuckle), like I said, it doesn't hurt that bad. These are nothing like the burns from back home, they'll be gone in a couple months. But I just came out here to say this, (another quick short chuckle ) I don’t think I've had enough Blood Rage, No. (He pauses as the crowd erupts in approval) No, I think there are more games to be played. I sure hope you agree. (He laughs some more) Why don't we have a nice little match right now? See how much we have left after last week. After burning alive…
He waits for an appearance, music, something but no Blood Rage appears
Kai: Aw, that makes me sad…But I have a better idea. For the next time we meet. Another game. We don't have to play with fire... We can play with cold steel and rusty barbed wire!
Kai laughs and is suddenly cut off by the sound of tribal war drums and primal scream! From the entrance, bathed in blue pyrotechnics, emerges a Native American warrior! He handles two tomahawks and twirls them about his head, finally setting them on the ground. He grabs a mic and proceeds down to ringside, talking as he does so…
Native American: KAI! You need to worry less about your spirits and more about the reality that faces you in this ring tonight! You may have survived a burning ring of fire, but brother, my people have survived burning lands for centuries! You think because you got burned when you were young that makes you tough? My people made me walk across scorched earth for a week, every step taking a layer of skin from my feet! I fought and survived! Tonight, your focus will be on me! Tonight your focus will be on the Apache Warrior, John Crazyhorse!
Crazyhorse drops the mic and goes for a punch but Kai catches him and chokeslams him into the mat!
Scooter: Looks like Kai isn’t wasting any time fans! Crazyhorse is a new arrival in the OCW and he’s as brash as he is gutsy! Crazyhorse, getting to his feet and Kai is letting him! Crazyhorse hammering at Kai’s midsection but the big man just laughs!
Kai with a headbutt and sends a woozy Crazyhorse into the ropes! Big boot! Crazyhorse goes down! Kai with a legdrop! Cover! ONE! TWO! NO! Kai picks up Crazyhorse and gestures for the Cemetery Drive! He…
Suddenly, the lights go out!!! When they return Blood Rage is standing behind Kai with a steel chair! He goes to nail Kai but Kai ducks! Kai nails Blood Rage in the gut with a boot and grabs the chair!
Scooter: OH MY WORD FANS! Kai has that chair- AND HE NAILS BLOOD RAGE! BLOOD RAGE IS DOWN! Kai props the chair up in the corner and picks up Blood Rage- AND WHIPS HIM INTO THE CHAIR! BLOOD RAGE IS DOWN!
Kai laughing fans and it looks like he’s going to take this match by DQ!
Winner: Kai via DQ @ 3:02
Scooter: Oh fans! Blood Rage is out of it! Kai has completely annihilated his nemesis! He’s thrown him through the ropes and Kai is on the outside! What is Kai doing!?! He’s followed him out, he’s going under the ring for something- maybe the baseball bat? NO! Kai has a table! He’s setting it up! He’s got Blood Rage up- POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE! Kai just powerbombed Blood Rage through the damn table!
Oh fans, how can, wait, Kai’s got him by the hair- Wait! The hair came off! A wig? I didn’t know Blood Rage wore a- wait! Kai just pulled the mask off! BLOOD RAGE IS UNMASKED! WHO IS IT!?! WHO IS BLOOD RAGE….
BUCK LEEDS! BUCK LEEDS IS BLOOD RAGE!!!!
Oh my stars fans! Who saw this coming!?! Buck Leeds is Blood Rage! Kai is just shaking his head and kicks Leeds one last time for good measure! What a disappointment! Kai looks disgusted and we’ve got to take a commercial break fans! We’ll be right back!
Scooter Sparks: We’re back fans and we’re going to send it over to Jackie Midnight who is standing by with “Primetime” and Sergei. It’s all yours Jackie!
Jackie is in the back flanked by Primetime Murphy and Sergei Khrushchev
Jackie Midnight: Thank you very much Scooter! Standing on one side of me is “Primetime” Landon Murphy while on my other side is “The Siberian Barrage.” Alright boys, there has been a lot of rumor and speculation going around the OCW locker room that The Allies might be on the verge of a breakup. Now, neither one of you were present at each other’s match at this past Sunday’s Resurrection pay-per-view… which both of you lost.
Primetime Murphy: Whoa! Whoa! Now, wait one minute Miss Jackie! The big Russian had “The Outlaw” Bobby Jack Casey beat at his own match. He only lost because that fat oaf, Big Daddy Ewing, decided to get involved. As for me, I had Mentalo down for at least a five-count and should be facing “The Crippler” Bret Steele for the OCW TV Championship tonight… but Roland Hard cost me that. Now, I will take care of him tonight!
Jackie Midnight: Well, you seem pretty confident about that.
Primetime Murphy: Of course I am Miss Jackie! You have to be confident going into your matches, but I digress. Sergei and I are here to discuss these outlandish reports about us going our separate ways. We are strong together and united as The Allies. Just because we were not at each other’s match, doesn’t mean we are going our separate ways.
Jackie Midnight: But you cannot deny that if either of you were present at the other one’s match, you both probably would have won.
Primetime Murphy: You know what? You might be right, but that is the past. What is done is done, and there is nothing Sergei and I can do to change that. We are going to focus on the future and doing what we have to do to make ourselves better. I would like to go further in detail now, but I cannot. I have to prepare for my match. Later on tonight, Sergei and I will address the OCW Nation… out there… in the ring… about how strong The Allies really are!
Jackie Midnight: Okay, we will look forward to that tonight!
With that, “Primetime” Landon Murphy walks away. Sergei Khrushchev is standing there staring at Jackie Midnight.
Sergei Khrushchev: Ve are strong and united. No one vill break the vill of The Allies.
After that, Sergei walks away.
We come back to Scooter Sparks and Trailer Park Stevens!
Scooter: Well, looks like the Allies laid it on the line TP!
TP: Sure, I guess. I mean, are they even a tag team anymore? The blond guy looks like he’s all into that TV Title and that Russkie just looks lost. Know what I mean? That’s why I told Sally Mae we need to focus on singles matches, but oh no, she just HAD to go and enter us in that tag battle royal! “Ten thousand dollars will pay off my Walmart bills” she says! “Ten Thousand dollars will get my F-150 out of impound”..whatever.
Scooter: Riiiiiiiiiiight. Well right now we’re going to get our first look at the man we saw earlier- Narcoleptic Assassin!
TP: Nar Ass.
Scooter: Er, yes, that is what Dusty called him.
TP: It’s easier, that’s what we’re calling him.
TP: Nar Ass.
TP: NAR ASS!
Scooter: Fine! Nar Ass it is then!
TP: There ya go!
Scooter: Anyways, it will also be the debut of another new face to the OCW- Constrictor! This young lady is from Columbia and uses an-
TP: Lady you say?
Scooter: Uh, yes it says right here she’s twenty four and from Colombia and proficient at submission wrestling.Says she got trained in Mexico.
TP: Alright! A little “spice” from south of the border- I like it!
Scooter: You realize this is a wrestling match and not a burlesque show, right?
TP: Bur- whatever. Look man, just call the match and keep the Kleenex handy, right?
Scooter: I think I just lost all faith in man. Anyway, Constrictor making her way to the ring, and she looks ready for action fans!
TP: You see those legs? You KNOW she’s ready for some action!
Scooter: Right, anyway, here comes Narco- uh, Nar Ass! And he’s, man he’s moving slow! Fans trying to slap his hands! Ew! Some of those hands coming away sticky! Did he fall asleep on a bathroom floor? Ok fans, he’s at the ring, he’s staring at those steps! Wow, looks like he just doesn’t have the energy to get up those three steps! He’s…he’s GRABBING A CHAIR! NAR ASS HAS…wait! He’s just using it to sit on, taking a break! Ok….well, the ref is yelling at him, so are the fans.
Nar Ass looks bothered. Ok, he finally gets up and makes his way to the ring…and I guess we have a match!
Scooter: I’m sorry fans, normally I try to build these matches up and season the commentary with flavor but all I can say is this: If you need to use the restroom or go get some nachos, now might be the time to do that.
We have a bell and Constrictor goes right in with a leg trip! Nar Ass simply hasn’t the balance to stay on his feet and goes down hard!
She locks in a sleeper! And…He’s out? Are you kidding me? His hand goes up once…twice…wait! It’s still up! It’s, it looks like he’s stretching! Constrictor's furious! She picks him up and whips him into the ropes! He tumbles through! He’s back on the outside! He’s climbing to his feet! He looks, well he just looks tired fans! He spots that chair he used earlier and he’s grabbed a seat!
And….that’s it fans. The ref is counting him out, Constrictor is waiting…Nine...TEN! That’s it fans! This sorry display is over! What a waste of time! I sure hope Dusty finds a way to cut loose this load!
Winner: Constrictor via countout @ 1:32
We go to commercial!!!
When we return we are back in the arena and Big Oil is in the ring!
Big Daddy: Ah how you doing there Blue Bloo… uh "Union Jacks", uh whoever! HA HA HA! You see, you go after the biggest steers in the corral, and you see what happens! Big Oil showed once again last week at Resurrection that we are the most dominant force in this company. With what Bobby Jack did to the Russian, and what the Hangmen did in the battle royal, they proved that they are not bad for a lets see...an "over the hill old man" and a "roided up junkie", now, we know who said that, and I do believe they got put out of the thing before the Hangmen, now didn’t they?!? Anyway, granted they didn't win the thing, but then again the Union Jacks took the yellow way out! But it doesn't matter! After tonight $10,000 won't mean a thing, hell, It don’t mean a thing now! I spend that on shoelaces In a damn week! But that loss won’t mean a thing, cause tonight, ah yes tonight, we will have those titles. Oh by the way Union Jerks, good thing you won that cash, cause the hospitals in this town are not cheap!! HA HA HA!!!
Executioner: Hey Union Jacks or whoever you are, Do you really think you are the first team that said you are going to run me and the big man out of town????? Well just add you name to the list of ALL the teams who have tried, and guess what? WE ARE STILL AROUND!!! So don't even waste your time, cause its not going to work. But after tonight after we beat the Hell Kittens for the belts, in two outta three, we will be calling the shots, TELL'EM BIG MAN!!!!
Noose: THATS RIGHT!!!! Once we get to that mountaintop tonight, no one will knock us off. What happened At the PPV only makes us Stronger, Madder, and Meaner, so thanks Union Jokes! You just woke a sleeping giant. Oh, and Black Widows, there is only one sure way to kill a spider, that is to step on it and grind it into a pile of blood and guts!!!!! BBWWWWWHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Bobby Jack: Tonight the Outlaw moves one step closer, one rung closer to that TV title contention!! Roland Hard, I know Primetime wants a piece of you, well tonight, I want some real competition!!! I wasted the last two weeks beating on that big Dumb Russian. Hell, he was just a warm up for bigger and better things!
Primetime's music hits and he and Sergei makes their way to the ring! They climb through the ropes and Primetime grabs a mic. They jaw with the Hangmen and the Outlaw while Big Daddy backs away near the ropes.
Primetime: Hey! You just get that fat, quadruple-X butt in line Blubber Jack! Roland Hard cost me my TV Title last week, so if anyone gets a shot at him tonight, it’s gonna be me!
Bobby Jack: Oh, is that right boy? Well maybe me and Big Oil will just stomp your butts right into the mat here and now and settle this once and for all!
Suddenly Roland Hard’s music hits! He makes his way to the ring and produces his own mic! He climbs through the ropes and goes nose to nose with both Primetime and The Outlaw before speaking.
Roland Hard: Now, lets just put brakes on all of this talk about “going after” Roland Hard, aight? Now, old Roland Hard got no problem smacking the taste out of the mouth of some backwards redneck, hell, I been doing that for years! And I ain’t gots no issue with kicking the hell out of some whiney little punk who thinks throwin’ a “U” sweater on buys him some street cred, cause it don’t!
But Roland, he only one man! And the fact is that he got no problem beating you boys back and forth, but you both mistaken if you think it’s going to be a walk in the park! You both thinking you going to walk away from it looking all pretty, and that ain’t gonna be the case. Truth is, Roland Hard is Baws Rude and he gonna take you and throw you down a flight of damn stairs till you can’t walk no more!
All square off as If they are ready to throw down when the Gigantitron hums to life and Dusty Diamond appears, seated at her desk
Dusty: WOAH! You all hold it right there! Now, it looks like I've got two grapplers wanting a piece of Roland Hard. So here's what we are going to do…tonight, Primetime and Outlaw, get your boots on, cause you are going to go toe to toe! And whoever wins gets Roland Hard next week! But Roland, you aren’t getting the night off, cause tonight, you get to warm up for your showdown…WITH SERGEI KHRUSHCHEV!
We cut to commercial! When we come back Sergei and Roland are in the ring and we have a bell!
Scooter: Welcome back fans and we’re right into the action! Sergei and Roland exchanging hard right hands! These two mammoths are just big, powerful men! Sergei taking the worst of the exchange and Roland sweeps his leg! Sergei is down and Roland drops a big elbow! Sergei shaking it off, Roland has him up and locks in a bearhug! Oh fans! Not many wrestlers can whip this on the big Russian!
Primetime right on the outside too fans! Looks like he wasn’t kidding when he said the past is the past! Looks like he’s out there to watch his partners back!
Sergei with a fist! Another! He breaks the bearhug and sends Roland reeling! Sergei on the offense as he grabs Roland by the back of the head and puts him into the turnbuckle! Head smash! Again! The crowd counting along and we get a nice round ten headsmashes! Primetime smacking the mat and rooting on Sergei! Sergei gets Roland up and atomic drop! Roland bounces off that knee hard and he’s on the mat grabbing his back! That had to hurt fans!
Sergei measuring his opponent, Roland struggling to get back to his feet, Sergei on the move! Roland grabs his boot! Twist! Sergei hits the mat and Roland is right on him! Cobra clutch! Sergei is in a world of trouble here fans! Roland is putting all of his weight right on that lower back and just rearing back like a madman! The ref is checking but Sergei isn’t giving in! He’s hanging tough and Roland is giving it all he’s got! The big Russian is trying to work his way to the ropes! What power! What raw power! Roland fighting! Trying to keep Sergei trapped in the center of that ring! NO! Sergei makes it to the ropes! The ref is calling for a break but Roland is keeping that clutch locked in! Primetime on the ring ropes! Screaming for the ref to do something! Roland breaks the hold and charges Primetime! Primetime pulls the top rope down and Roland goes over! He’s on the outside and he and Primetime are going at it! Primetime with hard fists and he puts Roland right into the ringside steps! Oh fans! Roland hit hard and he’s grabbing that shoulder! Primetime smashes that shoulder against the ring post one more time before throwing Roland back in the ring!
Sergei waiting fans! Kick to the gut! Shoulderbreaker! Roland Hard is almost delierious with pain fans! He’s out of it!
Sergei put’s Roland right into the ropes, rebound- COLD FRONT!!! COLD FRONT! Sergei just hit that bearhug-slam and he’s got Roland covered! ONE! TWO! THREE! Roland Hard falls to the big Russian and it looks like The Allies are united as they can be! Thanks to Primetime Sergei walks away with this win!
Winner: Sergei Khrushchev via pinfall @ 8:21
Scooter: A big win for the Big Russian TP!
TP: Yeah, well, it looks like his buddy helped him out didn’t it? I mean, Roland Hard was taking it to the Russkie till that sweet little fella stuck his nose in there.
Scooter: Uh, that would be “Primetime” Landon Murphy TP.
TP: Sure whatever….
Scooter: Do you even watch the matches? Ever looked at the roster?
TP: Man, look, if I wanted to get harassed by some pencil neck I would have stayed in high school, ok? Let’s just say I know enough to get by and leave it at that.
Scooter: Astounding. Do you mind explaining how you got this gig tonight?
TP: Sure, Strucka got picked up on possession charges and Genesis had jury duty, so Dusty called me. Plus my parole officer said it would look good if I spent a night not getting tossed into county lock up.
Scooter: At least you aren’t talking about my Mom…
TP: Oh, speaking of which, I got an e-mail from CP in the hospital. He wants to know when “your momma is going to come and scratch the itch under his full body cast”.
Scooter: Figures. Right now fans we’re taking you to the back where our cameraman has gained access to the Union Jack’s dressing room!
We’re in the back with the Union Jacks who are knocking over tables and kicking holes in the walls of their dressing room! Black Alice grabs a mic and puts her face in the camera!
Black Alice: YOU STUPID FAT BLOKES! You think what you did proved a point? You think jumping us made you look stronger? You wankers have no idea what you’ve done! You, the Allies, and all of the teams in the OCW are on notice! The Jacks are coming for you! NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE! YOU HEAR ME!?! NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE!!!
She grabs the camera and shoves it out the door!
In the lockeroom, TJ Danger is psyching himself up! He is standing in front of a mirror and talking to himself…
TJ Danger: Just some bad fish man, yeah, even the most extreme wrestlers get some bad fish every now and then. Maybe some Scrod or maybe even some bad Monk fish. You got to cook that stuff right or it will kill you…or is that Puff Fish? Whew, just take it easy, you are still one of the baddest dudes in this fed and tonight you can knock around some chick. Maybe she’ll even give you her number after she gets put in a piledriver, yeah, maybe gets a good look at…uh..focus! Maybe some water, yeah, that’s it…
He splashes water in his face and when he looks up into the mirror, the Helmeted Figure is behind him!!!
He spins around and no one is there!!!
TJ: Oh man! Calm down TJ! Just nerves, just, you know, take it easy! Alright, that’s it! I’m gonna go out there and just take care of business! Gotta get myself together! Get it together! I’m just feeling the effects of too many late nights and Zima’s!
We cut away back to Major Punishment who is in the ring with a mic!
Major Punishment: TJ Danger, you want to see “extreme”? I'll show you what extreme is all about! Now get your skinny butt down here! Cause’ you're in for some Major Punishment!
She drops the mic and TJ Danger’s music hits! He slowly comes out, looking behind, up in the rafters and even stopping and looking under the ring apron. He steps up and Major Punishments helps him over the ropes by the hair!!!
Scooter: Woah! Looks like Major P isn’t in the mood for TJ Danger tonight fans! She’s putting those vicious combat boots to him with machine gun kicks! TJ trying to cover up! He’s scrambled outside to get his bearings but he jumps back up on the ring apron! He’s looking at the ring apron like he expects something to crawl from underneath!
Major P grabs TJ and helps him back in the ring via suplex! TJ is down!
Major P is all offense here fans! TJ Danger is definitely off his game! Oh! Knee to the gut! TJ lands a eye gouge but does no good with Major P wearing those goggles! What was he thinking!?!
Major P returns the favor and TJ hits his knees! Major P into the ropes! Rebound! Flying dropkick! Danger is laid out fans! Major P picks him up and…BLACK OPS BACKBREAKER!!! TJ gives up! It looks like he’s just interested in getting out of here! Major P looks disgusted fans and she turns that backbreaker into a brainbuster! TJ is laid out and Major P adds a kick to Danger for good measure before bailing out of the ring and heading to the back!
Winner: Major Punishment via submission @ 4:37
As TJ is getting back up, the lights flicker and green smoke begins to pour from beneath the ring….TJ stays on his knees, his eyes locked on the entrance to the arena…suddenly, a booming voice fills the arena!
VOICE: You haven't been sleeping boy…Your nightmare awaits!!!
Suddenly, several hands punch through the ring mat! TJ Begins screaming and he’s pulled through the hole in the ring!!! The hands slowly pull the mat back into place and the lights go out!!!
We go to commercial!!!
When we return, Scooter and TP are at the announcers table...
Scooter: Oh my word fans! I don’t know what to tell you! We’re back and right now we’ve got ring technicians and building inspectors checking out the ring but they can’t find a thing wrong with the mat! It’s as though the mat was never ripped at all!
TP: Dude, that was messed up! Where the hell did TJ go? COME ON MAN I NEED ANSWERS!!!
Scooter; HEY! GET A GRIP!!! I don’t know where he went! No one does! This kind of thing has been happening the past few weeks! Maybe if you watched the show once in a while you would know that!!!
TJ: Man, I need a smoke, you want a smoke?
Scooter: There’s no smoking in here TJ…
TJ: Really? Cause last I heard your Momma was doing lots of smoking- IN THE MEN'S LOCKER ROOM!. HA!!!!
TP: Like that? I made that up, it was an original!
Scooter: You must be proud of yourself. Anyway, right now we’ve got the Union Jacks and Blue Unicorns, this match should be interesting as the Union Jacks are furious over the attack by the Hangmen earlier. And what of the comments of their manager “Black Alice”? She not only called out the Hangmen, which one would expect, but she also threw the name of “The Allies” in there as well! Now, CP thinks the Union Jacks are the former British Bluebloods who got exported back to the UK, but if that’s the case, why call out The Allies, their former partners? Interesting times in the OCW fans! I’m not sure what to think! Is it s ruse to throw us off the track? Only time will tell! Looks like the Unicorns are in the ring and …HERE COME THE JACKS!
Scooter: The Union Jacks have hit the ring and are pummeling the Blue Unicorns!!! The ref hasn’t even run g the bell yet! Lets get some order here! The ref is trying to get things straightened out, but the Union Jacks are madmen! They don’t care! Black Alice is screaming at the top of her lungs for the “Jack Attack” whatever that is! Wait, looks like Revolution has Blue Unicorn Dos in a bearhug, Anarchy off the ropes! RUNNING CLOTHESLINE AND FALLAWAY SLAM!!! WHAT A MOVE FANS
Anarchy bails out of the ring and the ref hits the bell! Revolution covers! ONE! TWO ! THREE!!! Well that certainly sent a statement to the rest of the OCW fans!
Winner: The Union Jacks via pinfall @ :06
Scooter: I think that may have been a record TP!
TP: May be man. Those Jacks looked pissed. Almost as pissed as I was when I got to your Mommas last night and had to wait in line!!!
Scooter: Really? More Momma jokes? I thought I would get a break this week.
TP: Nah man, this email has like, two dozen. Wow, that guy must be bored out of his mind sitting in ICU.
Scooter: Yay for us. Well fans, we’ve got our big Tag Team Title match up next! Fans will remember The Hellcats defeated The Super Dragons back in Week Five to take those belts and to be honest they’re off to a solid start, hammering the Punishments last week at Resurrection!
TP: Yeah man, but CP and his kid ain’t a real tag team. And plus, CP is like, old as hell. So I wouldn’t be too impressed with that win, you know?
Scooter: Still! The Hellcats are dangerous and they have the belts! Quite a combination! And this title defense is a best of three falls match! Could be a long night for the champs!
TP: Yeah man, too long. These long-ass matches make me want to turn the tv over to “Girls Gone Whore”, know what I mean?
Scooter: No. Anyway, the Hangmen are in the ring and here comes Mr.Lucifer and those acolytes pulling The Devils Toybox containing the Tag Champs! You would think they would abandon the Toybox after what happened last week but I guess they are just that confident!
Scooter: Noose and Razor Girl starting out fans and this is a match The Hangmen have been itching for for weeks! Ever since they took that min-tag tournament back in week five and shot to the top of the tag team division they’ve been drooling in anticipation of this match!
Noose with a strong forearm! Razor Girl hits the mat! Noose is just a monster fans! He’s got Razor Girl up and locks in a torture rack! Barb Wire in and hits a dropkick on the big man with those spiked high heel boots! I think she cut Noose’s chest open with that fans! Nonetheless, he dropped Razor Girl before she could submit!
Noose tags out to Executioner who comes in and hits a mean clothesline! Right hands! Razor Girl is reeling and tags out! Barb comes in and Executioner sends her into the ropes! Barb ducks a flying clothesline! Executioner on the mat and Barb hits a double stomp to his back! Executioner in pain! Barb goes up top and comes off with a kneedrop right on his back!
Barb in control! Headbutt with those spikes and Executioner grabs his head! He’s hurting! Tag to Razor Girl! Razor Girl comes in and spears Executioner! Cover! ONE! TWO! Kickout! Executioner with an eye gouge and big elbow! Tag to Noose! Noose back in and hits Razor Girl with some right hands! Razor Girl reeling! Back into the turnbuckle! Noose traps Razor Girl and starts to hammer her! Razor Girl grabs Noose and hits an atomic drop! Noose grabbing that lower back! Razor Girl goes for a abdominal stretch but Noose breaks that hold easy! Elbow to the gut by Noose! Barb comes in but Executioner intercepts and shoulder blocks her right out of the ring!
Barb hits hard and now the Hangmen have Razor Girl up! HANG EM HIGH ON RAZOR GIRL! They just hotshotted her right across the top rope and she’s down! Cover by Noose! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!! The Hangmen just captured the first fall!!!!
Winner of first fall: The Hangmen via pinfall @ 7:14
Scooter: We’ve got a bell for the second fall fans! Barb has made it back to the Hellcats corner but she still looks woozy! Razor Girl fighting back! She furious she got pinned and sends Noose to the outside! Mr.Lucifer also took exception to the double team as he just waffled Noose with a big chain he took off the Devils Toybox! Noose is down! Executioner outside and Mr.Lucifer makes himself scarce!
Big Daddy Ewing checking on Noose and Executioner helps him back in the ring! Razor Girl is waiting! She’s just stomping the life out of Noose! 666 SUPLEX! Noose is holding the back of his head! Razor Girl goes for a pin but only gets a one count! Noose isn’t out of this yet! Barb tagged in and The Hellcats just stomp the life out of Noose in their corner! Executioner comes in to break it up but the ref intercepts him and sends him back to his corner!
Now Razor Girl choking Noose with that tag rope while Barb just lays vicious shin kicks to his midsection! Barb grabbing Noose- bulldog! She just bulldogged him right into the center of the ring! Cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Barb- OH! Executioner just ran in and dropped a big elbow on Barb’s neck! The ref getting Executioner back in his corner- can’t say Im surprised at all of this interference fans! That’s just how these two teams roll!
Noose managing to get to his corner- a tag- NO! Barb pulls him back! Tag in to Razor Girl and The Hellcats sends Noose into the ropes- double clothesline! No! Noose ducks! Rebounds ! CROSS BODY BLOCK BY NOOSE! Both Hellcats are down! Noose trying to recover! He tries to get to his corner, can he make a tag? No! Mr.Lucifer just nailed Executioner in the back and took him off the ring apron! No one there for the tag and Noose is a man alone! The Hellcats drag him back in the ring! Big boots! DOUBLE BRAINBUSTER! Noose is out of it fans! COVER! ONE! TWO! THR-NO! How can he kick out of that fans!?! Noose just miraculously kicked out of that Double Brainbuster! The ref calls for Barb to leave the ring and Razor Girl slaps on a leglock and just begins punishing Noose! He’s got to be on the verge fans! He’s got to be on the verge of just tapping out! Wait! Noose using that raw power! One last push! He kicks Razor Girl off! He lunges for his corner! TAG! TAG TO EXECUTIONER! TAG TO EXECUTIONER!
Executioner in the ring and he’s cleaning house! Elbow to Razor Girl! Elbow to Barb Wire! Both Hellcats are down! Big suplex to Razor Girl! Mr.Lucifer on the ring apron! Executioner spears him! Lucifer hits hard on the outside! WAIT! BARB WIRE JUST NAILED EXECUTIONER WITH A PAIR OF BRASS KNUCKS! THE REF DIDN’T SEE IT! Executioner hits the mat hard! Barb picks up Razor Girl! BODYSLAM ONTO EXECUTIONER! The ref is there! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! The Hellcats just took this second pinfall!!!
Winner of second fall: The Hellcats via pinfall @ 13:01
Scooter: This match is madness fans! These two teams are pulling out all the stops! Wait! What is the ref doing? HE’S ORDERING THE MANAGERS TO THE BACK! He must be tired of the interference and shenanigans! Here comes Los Security! They’ve got those cattle prods primed and ready to go! Big Daddy and Mr.Lucifer are jawing back and forth but it looks like they are acquiescing to the ref’s demands!
The Hangmen and Hellcats almost look like little kids who lost their Momma’s! They are watching helplessly as their managers are herded to the back!
Well! No rest for the wicked as they say fans! The Executioner starts in on Barb Wire as the ref rings the bell and the third and final fall is underway! Looks like we’ve got ourselves a tie game here fans! Executioner sends Barb into the ropes- powerslam!!! Cover! ONE! TWO-kickout! Looks like Executioner was trying to end this one early fans but it didn’t pan out! He slings Barb over into the Hangmens corner and Noose gets her in a choke while Executioner uses her abdomen like a heavy bag! Rights! Lefts! Barb is out on her feet and hits the mat!
Executioner laughing! He taunts Razor Girl! He just spit at her! Razor Girl smiling and licking it off her face! SICK! Executioner has Barb by the neck, LOW BLOW BY BARB! Executioner hits his knees! Oh he didn’t see that one coming fans and it looks like Barb wants some payback!
Barb getting on his back- straightjacket! Shes got that submission hold locked in and Executioner has nowhere to go! NOOSE TO THE RESCUE! He just hit a big boot and Barb releases the hold! She scrambles over to tag and tags in Razor Girl! Razor Girl in the ring and grabs Executioner! DDT! Cover! ONE! TWO! Kickout! Executioner being punished in this match fans! Razor Girl trying to get him up in a torture rack but Noose running in again, but Razor Girl anticipated it! She catches Noose with a clothesline!
Noose out of the ring and he pulls Razor Girl with him! Razor Girl into the ringpost! She went head first into the post fans and she’s in pain! Clothesline on the ringside barrier! Noose just picked her up and dropped her right across that steel rail! She had to fall from a height of at least seven feet fans!
Back in the ring Executioner has Barb cornered and is just stomping the daylights out of her! He’s shoving his hand down her top! WHAT A PERVERT! NO! He was looking for something and he got it! Those Brass Knucks! Executioner just lambasted Barb with those Brass Knucks and the ref, who is counting out Razor Girl didn’t see it! But fans, if Razor Girl is counted out the Hangmen will take the win but not the belts! Looks like Executioner is yelling to Noose! Noose picking up-WAIT! ANARCHY OF THE UNION JACK JUST HIT THE RING AND NAILED EXECUTIONER WITH A CHAIR! EXECUTIONER IS DOWN AND ANARCHY BAILS OUT OF THE RING!
The ref has turned in time to see Executioner and Barb both laid out in the ring! Noose throws Razor Girl back in! He sees Anarchy and goes after him! The ref begins counting both Executioner and Razor Girl out! One! Two! Three! Oh fans, this can’t end in a double countout! This…wait! Razor Girl is stirring! Seven! She’s making her way to the turnbuckle! Eight! She climbing to her feet, can she make it? NINE! Razor Girl almost there…almost…YES! Razor Girl stumbles across the ring on rubber legs, but she’s made it and The Hellcats take the third fall and retain their titles!!!
Winner of the third fall and STILL OCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPS:
The Hellcats via countout @ 17:31
Scooter: My word fans what a battle! The Hellcats retain their titles as Razor Girl hoists her partners prone body over her shoulder and reclaim their title belts from the timekeepers table! The Hellcats, in their FIRST title defense, defeating #1 contenders The Hangmen in a best of three falls match!
I’ve got to say fans, had it not been for Anarchy of the Union Jacks who knows what would have happened? I dare say we may even have new Tag Team Champions right now! I guess the Union Jacks weren’t blowing smoke then they claimed no one was safe! Looks like that attack on the Union Jacks earlier really cost The Hangmen tonight, wouldn’t you agree TP?
TP: Yeah, man, the Hangmen got hosed! They should have rethought that attack earlier, or at least made sure they got the job done! Looks like a little “Anarchy” cost them the match. HA!
Scooter; Hey, that wasn’t too bad. Nice little pun there TP.
TP: Dude, move your seat over, I don’t want people to think you and I are into each other or nothing.
Scooter: Oh, yeah, sure. Well, fans, from a knock-down drag out battle to another match that promises to be a brutal display of aggression, We’ve got Primetime Murphy and Outlaw Bobby Jack Casey about to square off for a chance to go after Roland Hard next week. I know both of these men are looking for a win over Hard- Primetime looking for some payback and Outlaw looking to knock Roland down a few notches. Outlaw making his way to the ring with Big Daddy Ewing who looks rabid that his boys The Hangmen just dropped their match to the Hellcats! His face is red, he’s sweating and he looks-
TP: ...LIKE HE JUST CAME OUT OF YA MOMMA’S BEDROOM!!!!
Scooter: Oooops! I’m sorry TP! I didn’t mean to kick the cord out of your laptop and step on it and smash the power jack!
TP: HEY MAN! I can’t view WWW.CHUBBYLOVIN.COM NOW!!!!
Scooter: A crying shame. Anyway,The big Texan is snarling at the fans and cussing them out! And he’s toting that vicious bullrope that he worked Sergei over with in their match at Resurrection! And now here comes Primetime followed by his partner, the Big Russian Sergei!!! Neither look in any mood for shenanigans fans! Primetime looks ready to take care of business! They get in the ring, Casey and Sergei exchanging words and Primetime attacks!
Scooter: Primetime right on the offense fans! Headbutt followed by a big elbow sends Outlaw scurrying outside to regroup! Sergei waiting for him! Outlaw takes a cheap shot at Sergei! Primetime outside and spins Outlaw around but Outlaw blocks the right hand! Outlaw just put Primetime into that ringpost and he heads back inside as it looks even more dangerous out here than inside the ring!
Oh! Outlaw catches Primetime coming back in the ring and hiptosses him back inside! Armbar by the big Texan! He’s working that right arm and doesn’t look like he has any interest in letting go! Kneedrop to that deltoid of Primetime! Outlaw still working the armbar! I expected more smashmouth from Casey but he’s surprising me! Looks like he’s building a foundation of pain on which to build later! Primetime’s face a mask of pain! A smart strategy fans! Outlaw Casey knows if he weakens that right arm it will be harder for Primetime to use his finisher “The Headliner” thus cutting down on this young man’s offensive options!
Primetime with the fans behind him! He’s powering up! Kneelift! Another! Outlaw breaks the hold! Primetime in the ropes and comes off with a shoulder block! Outlaw to the mat! Primetime into the ropes again and hits a legdrop! Cover! ONE! Kickout! The Outlaw not anywhere near being out of this match!
Primetime goes for a Boston crab but Outlaw hits an eye gouge and nullifies that move! Outlaw back up! Suplex! Primetime hitting hard! Cover! ONE! TWO- Kickout! Primetime just kicked out! Outlaw picking the young man up and sending him into the turnbuckle! Uh oh fans! Outlaw measuring him for the Texas Stampede! He charges! Primetime moves!!! Casey just rammed hard into that turnbuckle! Primetime capitalizing! He gets Outlaw Casey up and hits a shoulderbreaker! Cover! ONE! TWO! TH-Kickout! Oh fans that was close!
Primetime going up top! Casey still out on the mat from that shoulderbreaker! Primetime gesturing for a big splash! He jumps! KNEES TO THE GUT! Outlaw just got those knees up and Primetime landed hard right on top! Outlaw bailing out of the ring! He’s grabbed that cowbell and bullrope from Big Daddy! Big Daddy gesturing for him to get back in there and use it! HERE COMES SERGEI! He smashes Outlaw right across the back! Sergei grabs that ropes and cowbell and he’s measuring Outlaw Casey! He’s going to do it! He’s going to nail Casey! NO! Sergei throws that rope and bell under the ring and grabs Casey and tosses him back in the ring! He could have done it! He could have laid Casey out!
Casey back in the ring and Primetime just coming around, but Casey hits a knee to the head! Oh! Primetime had to feel that! Now Casey is just kicking the life out of Primetime with those cowboy boots! He’s stomping a mudhole in him! Casey motioning for the Hogtie! That submission hold will surely end this fans! And he locks it in! He’s locked in that modified Stepover Toehold Facelock fans and Primetime is in trouble! Bobby Jack hauling back for all he worth, like he’s on the ranch and has him a prize steer! Primetime fighting! He’s so close to the ropes! Sergei rooting him on! Come on Primetime! Primetime fighting, the ref asking if he wants to tap- his hand is raised- all he has to do is tap out! No! Primetime turns that hand into a fist and makes a final lunge! HE MAKES IT TO THE ROPES! The ref calling for Outlaw Casey to break the hold but he’s not listening! He doesn’t care! He’s got Primetime locked in and he’s going to deal out as much punishment as he can!
The ref calls for the bell! Outlaw Casey laughing like a madman! The ref has called this match and Casey has lost it but he doesn’t seem to care! All he cares about his injuring this youngster! Primetime is out of it fans and his hand has dropped! HERE COMES SERGEI! Sergei nails Outlaw Casey with a forearm to the back of the head! Outlaw Casey finally breaks the hold! Casey is roaring!
Winner: Primetime Murphy via DQ @ 11:39
Scooter: OH NO! The Hangmen have hit the ring! They are stomping Sergei and Primetime! But Sergei is able to get outside! He’s got a chair! He comes in and clears the ring and runs off Casey and the Hangmen who are laughing! Sergei taking over a protective position over his partner Primetime! Let’s get some help out here! Primetime is whipped fans! He’s out of it and Sergei is talking to him, trying to get him to return to consciousness! We’ve got to go to commercial fans, we’ll be right back!
We return from commercial and Lil' Tokyo's music starts and she walks out to the ring, OCW World Title draped over her shoulder and taking time to shake some fans' hands and give high fives. She climbs up into the ring and smiles and waves until the cheering of the fans dies down, then holds up a mic.
Lil’ Tokyo: Thank you fans! Thank you! And thank you for standing by me with your support! I can say that I would not have won this title without you! (Fans go nuts) Thank you, thank you so much. This title is as much yours as it is mine! Yes! It’s true! But tonight, I’m not here to celebrate, no, tonight I'd like to settle a debt of honor between myself and Crimson Mask, who, as you all may remember, attacked me after I had won the TV Title. I have not
forgotten the treachery those Black Sun dogs inflicted upon me and tonight I will
have my vengeance!
CRIMSON MASK! COME OUT, IF YOU ARE NOT AFRAID TO FACE ME!
Crimson Mask and Yojimbo appear at the top of the ramp and walk calmly to the ring amidst the booing and jeering crowd. Some fans shower them with soda and beer, but the duo proceed, their eyes locked on the OCW World Champ standing in the ring. Lil' Tokyo waits until they are in the ring with
her and faces both squarely.
Lil’ Tokyo: Crimson Mask, for your attack against me two weeks ago, I challenge you tonight to a Bushido Rules match! No wrestling, only martial arts! You can only win
by a knockout or a submission! Whomever strays from this will be disqualified. Do you accept?
Yojimbo: You foolish child! You win a few titles and all of a sudden feel invincible? You are not! You are the same scared little girl that I teamed with oh so long ago! Foolish, naïve and full of pride! Well that pride will be your downfall. You wish to taste Crimson Masks’ talents? Then you shall!
Yojimbo drops the mic and Crimson Mask attacks Lil’ Tokyo!
Scooter: We’ve got a match fans! And if I understand this correctly, this “Bushido Rules” means that the only way to win is to use a martial arts move to knock out or make your opponent submit!
Yojimbo on the outside, and he’s not saying a word as Crimson Mask hammers Lil’ Tokyo with closed fists! Looks like she’s more interested in hurting Tokyo than pinning her right now!
And I’ve got word from the back fans, Primetime Murphy IS alright and contends he and Sergei are still on to address the OCW nation tonight!
Back in the ring! Crimson Mask goes for a spinning neckbreaker but Lil’ Tokyo reverses it! Crimson Mask hits hard! Lil’ Tokyo catches Mask in a leglock! Now that’s not a martial arts move fans so no submission coming from that but Lil’ Tokyo looks satisfied doling out some punishment!
Tokyo gets Mask up and hits several chops! I can hear them back here! Mask getting some protection from that bodysuit she wears and now Tokyo with a heel kick! Mask blocks! Legsweep takedown! Falling fist to Tokyo’s midsection! She’s doubled over in pain fans! Mask is quick to her feet and hits the ropes! Springs off the middle and into a splash! Pin! No! The ref is ruling that is NOT a martial arts move! Mask slapping the mat in frustration!
She’s got Tokyo back up! Dropkick! Tokyo on the mat! Shes hurting fans! Her abdomen has taken a beating! Mask picking Tokyo up- THROAT CHOP! Tokyo down and Mask covers! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! That isn’t going to make it happen fans!
Tokyo back up, Mask sends her into the ropes- Tokyo ducks! Rebounds! Flying chops to Mask! Mask goes down and both are out on the mat! Tokyo fighting to her feet! She covers! ONE! Kickout! Mask not out of this match yet!
Tokyo back up! Shes got Mask up! Jump back kick! Mask down! Tokyo not done! She’s going up top! She doesn’t do this often fans! She comes off with a double knee to the gut! Mask in pain!
The OCW World Champ in control fans! She’s got Mask back up! KYOTO LEGLOCK! She just did that sidekick-into a leglock combo and the ref is ruling it as valid! Tokyo rearing back! Crimson Mask has nowhere to go!
SHE TAPS! Crimson Mask has tapped out!
Winner: OCW World Champ Lil’ Tokyo via submission @ 8:41
Scooter: Oh here comes Yojimbo! AND THE SUPER DRAGONS! THEY- WAIT! Mentalo has come out of the audience with a kendo stick! He's holding them off while he and Tokyo bail out of the ring! What a save fans! Mentalo arrived just in time and He and the OCW world Champ retreat to the back but she won that match fans and got at least a small measure of revenge against Crimson Mask and your world champ goes to 6-0! She's undefeated!!
What did you think of that TP?
TP: Two chicks fighting it out man, what’s not to love?
Scooter: You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you this. Back at Resurrection Sally Mae mentioned something about other women having the eye on you. I can kinda see where some of your relationship problems might originate from.
TP: Hey, look Dr.Phil, you need to keep your own little opinions to yourself. Me and Sally Mae have had some rough times, yeah, but if you’ve ever been in a relationship you would know there are ups and downs. Course, word around the locker room is that you ain't never seen a lady nekkid, much less…
Scooter: HEY! This is a family show! Plus that’s just not true!
TP: Dude, your mom doesn’t count, though I would pay to see her…
Scooter: HEY! HEY! HEY! Enough of that! I get plenty of ladies!
TP: Sure man.
Scooter: I do! I get dates all the time! I just, you know, don’t bring my personal business to work.
TP: Sure man. Bet you got a girl in Canada huh?
Scooter: You know, Jackie is in the back and she’s got a big scoop! Let’s go to her now! Jackie?
We are back in the locker room and Jackie Midnight has a cameraman and they enter to see Buck Leeds sitting on the floor, a bag of ice on his head and face still streaked with black paint…
Jackie Midnight: Buck Leeds! A quick word please!
Leeds: What? OW! Yeah whatever! Just a little more quiet, alright lady?
Midnight: Oh, sorry. Well, the fans are stunned! We had no idea you were Blood Rage! Was this all part of…
Leeds; Woah, woah, back the truck up honey. I ain’t Blood Rage, YOU HEAR THAT KAI? I AIN”T HIM!
Midnight: You…you aren’t? But, the mask! The chair! You attacked Kai!
Leeds: Honey, look. I wasn’t booked to work tonight and I got bills ok? I get to the arena, find out I’m not working, get back out to my van and find someone has left a bag with a mask, a wig and some gear in it, fifty bucks and a note telling me to nail Kai after his match with a chair and get the hell out of there as fast as I can. I don’t argue, ok? It was easy money, at least it was till that crazy bastard Kai put me through a table!
Midnight: Oh, so that’s it? For fifty bucks you just became an unwilling pawn in this Kai-Blood Rage circus?
Leeds: Yeah! A PAWN! That’s what I was! You just make sure to tell Kai, alright? I don’t need that big goofy freak coming after me.
Midnight: Fifty bucks, huh?
Leeds; Well, like fifty bucks and a six pack of Schlitz. Course’ I drunk that before I went out there, it helps take the pain away.
Midnight: The pain of being put through a table?
Leeds: Yeah, that too I guess.
Midnight: Of course. Back to you Scooter, guess we don’t have a story after all. Just a cheap, drunk moron.
Midnight: Oh, sorry.
Scooter: Well, it was worth a shot. Looks like Blood Rage is content to just mess with Kai’s heads folks! And right now we’ve got our main event, Steele versus Mentalo for that vacated TV Title. Fans will remember that Lil’ Tokyo vacated that title when she defeated Steele for his OCW World belt. And Mentalo got to this dance by defeating the other contenders for the belt, Primetime Murphy and Roland Hard in a triple threat elimination match at Resurrection.
TP: Really? Wow, that kinda sounds interesting. Makes me almost wish I had watched it now.
Scooter: Oh, I’m sure the tractor pull or monster truck racing or whatever you wound up watching was equally as impressive.
TP: You know dude, I get the impression you think I’m just some backwards hick or something. Just some Kentucky boy who ain’t got it together.
Scoter: Oh, hey no! Where would you get that impression at TP?
TP: Look dude, you go ahead and crack jokes and whatever, cause it’s like Hank says: “A country boy will survive! BOCEPHUS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scooter: If “surviving” is living in a run down trailer with an overbearing wife living off of Pabst and stale Cheeze-It’s and watching NASCAR I’ll take death thanks.
TP: Huh? Sorry man, I just noticed that fine girl in the front row. You think she’s out of her teens?
Scooter: Ok! Well, Mentalo’s music has hit and the luchadore is making his way to the ring! He’s all smiles fans but what would you expect? It's not like he got jumped earlier and almost crippled! And now here comes the former OCW World Heavyweight Champ, Bret Steele! Steele is all business fans! I think he’s more interested in beating Mentalo than he is in actually winning that belt!
Scooter: We’ve got the bell and here we go! Steele starting out strong! He’s shoulderblocked Mentalo to the mat and hits a legdrop armbar! He’s not wasting Any time and going for a pin! No! Now he’s hammering the poor luchadore’s face into the mat!
Mentalo trying to fight back! Standing dropkick! Steele goes down! Mentalo into the ropes! Backflip frog splash! Cover! ONE! Kickout! Mentalo back on the offense! He’s whipped Steele into the ropes! Flying elbow! He connects! Steele back on the mat and he’s stunned! Mentalo goes for another cover but doesn’t even get a one count! Steele up! Mentalo goes for a forearm shot but Steele blocks! Steele with a kick to the gut and a swinging neckbreaker! Steele locks in a figure four! Mentalo in trouble! He makes it to the ropes!
Steele breaks the hold but goes right back in with a big boot to Mentalo’s head! He’s stomping the poor luchadore! Mentalo trying to make his way up! Steele measuring him- SPEAR! Mentalo down! Cover! ONE! TWO! Kickout! Mentalo just barely kicked out of that one fans!
Steele whips Mentalo into the corner turnbuckle and the young man flips upside down and gets hooked! Tree of woe! Steele charging in and starts laying boots right into him! Those knees are just hitting Mentalo’s abdomen repeatedly! He’s unhooked thank God! Mentalo rolling outside the ring, and he’s in pain folks!
Steele following him out and whips him into the ringside barrier! Mentalo crashes hard!
Steele back in to beat the countout! Mentalo struggling, he makes it into the ring just in time, but Steel right there! He’s got Mentalo up! Brainbuster! Mentalo is laid out and Steele is jawing with some fans who don’t approve of his tactics! But this is what made Steele a champion folks!
Another kick for good measure by Steele! Steele has Mentalo up now- Atomic drop! Mentalo is just taking this abuse like a human pinata’! How much more can he take? Steele whips Mentalo into the ropes! Clothesline- no! Mentalo ducks! Rebounds! Flying head scissors! Steele didn’t see that coming and hits the mat! Mentalo follows up with a headscissors armbar! Steel furious as he tries to break out of that! Mentalo breaks the hold and tries to cradle Steele! ONE! TWO! Kickout by Steele!
Steele back up! Nails Mentalo in the gut! Mentalo down! Steele locks in the PUNJABI LASSO! That inverted chokehold may signal the end of this one fans! Mentalo looks like he might tap! He might! He’s…he’s going for the ropes!!! Can he make it?!? Almost there! Almost there! YES! Mentalo makes it to the ropes and Steele breaks the hold! Steele looks stunned! Mentalo is really showing the former champ something here tonight!
Steele frustrated! He’s got Mentalo up! Steele whips Mentalo into the ropes! Goes for a back bodydrop! MENTALO REVERSES INTO A MONKEY FLIP! PIN BY MENTALO! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!! MENTALO WINS IT! MENTALO WINS!!!!
Winner and NEW OCW TV Champion: Mentalo vis pinfall @ 12:56
Scooter: What an upset fans!!! Steele is stunned! He’s absolutely stunned! He never saw it coming! He thought he had the young luchadore beat! Steele is just standing there. Amazed as the ref holds Mentalo’s arm in victory and awards him the TV Title!
Oh, now what? Steele spins Mentalo around! OH NO! HE…he…he’s holding his hand out?
Don’t do it! Don’t shake his hand!!!
TP: Yeah man, everyone knows he’s going to hit him with a stunner or something!
Scooter: Oh I can’t look! Mentalo is considering it! He’s looking to the fans! He’s weighing his options! DON’T SHAKE THAT HAND!!!
Mentalo takes Bret Steele’s hand! And….they shake? Really? Bret Steele nods and bails out of the ring fans! I…I had no idea! I really thought he would try to pull something here, but I guess not! I guess the former OCW World Champ was just showing his appreciation of Mentalo’s abilities!
And who can blame him fans? For a while Mentalo has been viewed as a joke! A luchadore who gets beat up on by women and who is more of a laughing stock than a real wrestler! But I have to say, his list of victories is impressive! Consider! He made his way through to the sei-fminals of the TV Title tournament beating Roland Hard. Then he took the victory in that triple threat to make it to tonights match and now he just defeated the former OCW World Champ fairly to claim the TV Title! It looks like Mentalo is the real deal fans!
TP: Yeah, well, like, we’ll see dude. I’m still not impressed.
Scooter: He also beat you in that TV Title tournament if memory serves TP.
TP: Just, shut up dude. I’m glad this night is almost over, you’re really starting to cheese me off. I don’t know how the Corporal does it, I’d have thrown you out a window by now.
Scooter: Nice! We’ve got a commercial break fans, but when we return, The Allies will address the fans and we’ll see if Primetime can even stand, much less talk! We’ll be right back!
Scooter Sparks: Alright folks, it is just about that time all of you have been waiting for. I have been told that “Primetime” Murphy and Sergei Khrushchev will be making their way to the ring shortly to address the situation spoken of earlier tonight with our colleague, Jackie Midnight. Before The Allies get down to the ring, what are your thoughts TP?
TP: Seriously? You want my thoughts on this? Hang on…I’ll give you my thoughts alright! I’ll give you my thoughts on your momma! Ha! Now, that is funny! This old dude cracks me up!
Scooter Sparks: Oh, dear Lord, here we go again! I thought I killed your laptop!
TP: Dude, you ever heard of cell phones? Here, check out this pic Sally Mae sent me, bet you didn’t think she was that limber, huh?
Scoote: GAH! Is that her tonsils? What the heck…
TP: Anyway man, who wants to see these two grown men talk about how much they love each other? That’s not good television dude, and we’ll probably lose viewers watching that blonde punk blabber on and on about “how strong The Allies are.” It’s boring, and frankly, I hate it. Wrestling is made to be in that ring, not some pretty-boy jabbering about friendship and whatnot. I’ll probably fall asleep or puke listening to him.
Scooter Sparks: Well, that was certainly… honest… I guess. Speaking of which, there is “Primetime” Murphy’s entrance music, and he is being accompanied by Sergei “The Siberian Barrage” Khrushchev. Primetime looks a little rough from the earlier attack by The Hangmen but both men look surprisingly confident as they enter the ring, and “Primetime” Murphy has grabbed a microphone.
TP: Wake me up when they are done!
In the center of the ring stand “Primetime” Murphy and Sergei Khrushchev.
Primetime Murphy: First of all, I would like to thank the entire OCW Nation, here and watching from home, for being some of the best fans in the entire world. (“Primetime” pause and starts clapping.) And for Big Oil, we’re not done, oh no, not by a long shot. Now, I know The Hellcats beat your asses bad and make you look like the chumps that you are, so you had to work out some of that frustration, but really, getting beat up by the ladies should be a step up for you two. Normally you just get ignored! (The crowd responds with an “Oooooooooooooo!”) But that’s all I’m going to say about those lowlifes right now, as I want to get right to the real point of why mean and the Serbian Barrage are out here. There has been a wild rampart run of speculation that Sergei and I are going our separate ways. The Allies are strong and united… like I stated before. We are not going anywhere. Yes, we weren’t present at each other’s match during the pay-per-view, but that is the past. What’s done is done and you saw exactly where we were tonight! Both he and I are not worried about that. We are moving on… as should everyone else. Actually, we are here to tell every tag team back in that locker room that they are being put on notice. The Allies are confident and plan on taking those OCW Tag Team Championships…
Before “Primetime” Murphy could finish his sentence, the entrance music of The Union Jacks starts up!
Scooter Sparks: Wait a minute! What is this? This is not the Union Jacks scheduled time! This is “Primetime” and Sergei’s time. What is going on?
TP: Oh, come on, The British Blue… I mean, The Union Jacks are probably coming down here to take part in the big, love festival going on in the ring. I mean, weren’t all these guys in the same stable until The British Blueballs were supposedly deported? Don’t tell me you are falling for this?
Scooter Sparks: It’s “Blue bloods” and don’t know TP. Anarchy is on one side of the ring while Revolution is on the other. Black Alice is just standing there looking at “Primetime” and Sergei in the ring. “Primetime” and Sergei are now standing back-to-back waiting to see what the next move is going to be from The Union Jacks. Black Alice has just made a gesture to Revolution, wait a minute! Revolution just tossed the time keeper off his chair and has grabbed the metal folding chair. Come on! What are you going to do with that?
TP: Dude, relax. This is all just one big show. I keep telling you how gullible you are with this stuff, but you won’t listen. Revolution is not going to use that chair on anyone. It’s a show!
Scooter Sparks: I don’t know TP! The Union Jacks stated earlier they were going to dismantle the entire OCW Tag Team Division, and no one was safe. The Allies might be their first target! Here we go! Both men are now up on the ring apron and slowly climbing through the ropes. “Primetime” and Sergei are still back-to-back and not taking their eyes of either man. Black Alice is also now up on the ring apron. Revolution has that folding chair still in his hands. Wait a minute! “Primetime” Murphy has turned away from Anarchy and looking directly at the back of the head of Sergei. What’s he doing?
TP: He just took his eyes off Anarchy! Bad move dude!
Scooter Sparks: OH… MY GOD!!!! PRIMETIME JUST NAILED SERGEI IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE MICROPHONE!!!! Sergei never saw it coming as he was focused on Revolution with the folding chair! What the hell? What is going on? “Primetime” just nodded to Anarchy and Revolution, and they have started putting the boots to Sergei. WHAT THE HELL?!?! “Primetime” is just standing there staring down at Sergei as Anarchy and Revolution continuously beat on the poor Russian! And look at his eyes! Those are some cold, dark eyes in that young man! Something has changed in that man!!
Revolution has picked Sergei up and is holding him. What now? Oh, no! Anarchy has that folding chair in his hands! He wouldn’t! OH… MY GOD!!! He just nailed that chair over Sergei’s head, and Sergei’s lifeless body just fell to the mat. He is busted open pretty bad from that chair shot. Now Revolution has that chair! Come on guys! Enough is enough! You’ve made your point! Don’t do this! Revolution just nailed Sergei’s prone body with the folding chair right in the back and Primetime is still just standing there staring at Sergei with those menacing eyes! Someone needs to do something and put in an end to this! Now what? Anarchy and Revolution has Sergei up. What is this? Black Alice is walking over. She’s grabbed Sergei’s face and is pointing at him, saying something. Come on! You know he cannot hear you! He’s out! Oh, hell! Black Alice just slapped Sergei right across the face! What that even necessary?
TP: Damn! I think I felt that one! I don’t think sally Mae has even ever hit me that hard!
Scooter Sparks: Now what? “Primetime” has just picked that folding chair up that has a dent in it from where it was used against Sergei. Don’t tell me he is going to use it? He has motioned for Anarchy and Revolution to pick up Sergei. DON’T DO THIS!! “Primetime” has set the chair down in the middle of the ring. HE ISN’T!! He has Sergei in a headlock. HE WOULDN’T!! OH… MY GOD!! He just performed his finishing move, The Headliner on Sergei… supposedly his best friend! That brainbuster on the chair just layed Sergei wide open! He’s really bleeding now from his head. GET SOME HELP OUT HERE!! “Primetime” is back to staring at Sergei’s lifeless body. NOW WHAT!?!? Oh, how nice! All four of them are standing there, hands together. YEAH, THAT’S GOOD!! JERKS!! They are all raising their hands together! I hope you are proud of yourselves for this! Anyway, folks, we are out of time for this edition of Monday Night Meltdown, and I cannot believe how this show has ended. Hopefully, we can get some answers from “Primetime” Murphy next week. Good night folks… if you can call it that!
We fade to black!!!