Dak Jurrgan claims win at the Corsec Vibro-Glaive Championships

Authority Merchant Marine Rotunda, Bonadan: After surviving seven grueling hours and fighting through a 32-being elimination tournament, local favorite Dak Jurrgan came out on top in the Arakyd Industries Vibro-Glaive Championships on Bonadan.
“It’s a great honor and a great victory,” a battered Jurrgan told reporters just hours after the competition. “I trained for decades to win this competition, but to finally have this victory…it’s hard to grasp.”

The tournament began with 32 of the galaxies most accomplished vibro-glaive competitors, including Bof Mezzic of Corellia, landaak sur’fel of Coruscant and Fundoora Xan of Elrood.
In recent years the competition has become the focus of controversy due to its “battle to the death” stipulation. While many other galactic sports adhere to these gladiatorial rules, the vibro-glaive competition has drawn the particular ire of some protestors.
Func Parstie, head of the “Organization to Outlaw Blood Sports” (OOBS) has reportedly even gone to the Emperor himself in the matter.

“He wouldn’t see me!” Parstie exclaimed in a recent interview. “I was stopped at the doors to the Imperial Palace and told if I wanted to see inside it was going to be on a guided tour!”

Despite OOBS’ protests, the competition is as popular as ever. Moved into the newly renovated Authority Merchant Marine Rotunda, over 300,000 beings packed the facility this year to view the competition.
“It’s certainly the biggest draw we’ve had for the competition and a tremendous feather in the cap of Arakyd,” said Grenna Deglanz, head of Promotion and Relations for Arakyd Industries. “We anticipate next year to be as big, if not bigger!”

This years competition saw Jurrgan fight through the galaxies top competitors, until he and Kraffa Dal’ Narr of Coyn were the last combatants left. The Final match lasted for over thirty five minutes, and saw Jurrgan, a humanoid of medium stature and weight, dodge the large Coynite’s killing blow, only to land his own to win the match.

“He pivoted, rolled, ducked under Dal’Narr’s glaive and plunged his right into the Coynite’s back…” one spectator recounted, “it was the most acrobatic thing I’ve ever seen.”

As per the rules, Jurrgan dealt the final decapitating blow to finish the match. “Dal’Narr was a proud warrior and a credit to his race, he died well,” Jurrgan said before accepting the half-million credit prize.


Kabu Si is a Kaminoan handicapper who has gained notoriety in betting circles throughout the galaxy as being the most accurate Shockboxing handicapper in the last ten years.
Kabu's column can be found in the Vashell Sector Times as well as the Intergalactic Sporting Gazette.

The opinions expressed in this column are exclusively those of Kabu-Si and do not necessarily reflect those of this publication. Feedback can be left at holomail drop # 32444 care of this publication.

To kill or not to kill?

Given the controversy lately surrounding some of the galaxies most popular and profitable “blood sports” the question comes up:

Should we condone killing?

It’s a sagacious question, one that warrants much consideration and thought. Are we, as fans and sentients, really doing the sporting world justice by calling for the blood of our athletes and competitors? Is it not enough that they pay dearly, in years of practice and training? That the blood, sweat and ooze left on the sparring mats and practice fields not be enough to satiate our wanton bloodlust?
But then the question arises…what of the drama? What of the drive that a competitor shows when they know that this may, in fact, be a life or death competition?

Well never let it be said that Kabu-Si does not see the virtues of both arguments. That being said, I think I have an acceptable solution.

Cloning.

That’s right sports fans, before every bloodsport competition, the combatants subject themselves to a series of tests. Should they wind up on the losing end of the luckstick, it would merely be a few years before you could see them back in your favorite arena, ready to go at it again.
Now, I hear the grumbling already of the die-hards out there who will argue that, you can’t clone talent, or charisma, or the stuff that makes champions, well, champions.
But…in the end, you still get to pay to see a fight to the death…and isn’t that what you sad little cretins really want? Who cares if the combatants lay dying in the center of the ring, or that their families watch them die like womprats in a shooting gallery. At least YOU get to be entertained…and isn’t that all that matters?

But seriously, if there are any athletes out there interested in being cloned, drop me a line, I’ve got an uncle who can get you a deal.